Mary had a little calf………?

and Mary breastfed it.

A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products.

At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud "hiss-pop" noise.

"The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold," explains the guide. "The popping sound is the needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple."

Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes a "Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop" noise.

"Wait a minute!" says the man taking the tour. "I understand what the ‘hiss, hiss’ is, but what’s that ‘pop’ every so often?"

"Oh, it’s just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine," says the guide. It pokes a hole in every fourth condom."

"Well, that can’t be good for the condoms!"

"Yeah, but it’s great for the baby-bottle nipple business!"

_____________________________________________

A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband’s best friend.

They have sex for hours, and afterwards, while they’re just laying there, the phone rings.

Since it is the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver.

Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation…

(She speaks in a cheery voice)

"Hello?
Oh, hi.
I’m so glad that you called.
Really?
That’s wonderful.
I am so happy for you.
That sounds terrifiic.
Great!
Thanks.
Okay.
Bye bye."

She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"

"Oh" she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he’s having on his fishing trip with you."

haha, good jokes!!!!